Understanding Feelings

I love to read and I just started reading the book, Bloom. Bloom is an inspiring and heartfelt memoir that celebrates the beauty found in the unexpected, the strength of a mother’s love, and, ultimately, the amazing power of perspective.

I am only in the first chapter. Even though our experience with the diagnosis was completely different I can relate to her experience. She had a birth diagnosis and I had a pregnancy diagnosis. She was scared as all moms are when they hear the diagnosis. My fears were if other people would love and accept Clay, I knew I would. We didn’t announce Clay’s diagnosis until after he was born. I told a few people that I knew would pray with me. I had them pray for a healthy baby and God answered. Clay has been healthy. I too cried like this Mom. I knew I could and would love my baby no matter what, but could and would everyone else. I cried even harder few days after Clay was born when I read a text my husband received asking if Clay had my hand. This person was worried that Clay had my birth defect of one hand being smaller than the other. My hand doesn’t bother me, why does it someone else? This made my fear of people accepting him grow even bigger!! This person didn’t even know of his diagnosis yet of Down syndrome, how would they ever accept his Down syndrome diagnosis if they were worried about something as simple as one hand being smaller than the other!! My hand never held me back, why were they so concerned with something so stupid. This is why fear creeped in. Sometimes the unknown or differences freak people out. Chill people…..it is only a hand that is smaller than the so called normal hand and it is only one extra chromosome. So far, thank God, no one else has said anything stupid to me about Clay or my hand. God has put a lot of wonderful accepting people in our path.

I can also relate to always wanting to be a mom. As a little girl I carried my baby doll everywhere and even took a stroller shopping with me to push her in. I also had a Barbie doll obsession. When my sister had kids I spoiled them as much as I could.

The next book I read recently is The Memory Keepers Daughter.

This is a fictional story based in the 1960’s. I too cried in it!! A woman has twins and one has Down syndrome. The father is a doctor and they used gas back then on the mom’s. He told the nurse to take the baby to an institution. He tells his wife the baby died. The nurse goes to the institution, but can’t leave her. Great book and heartbreaking. However, I couldn’t relate to this man and what he did, I did fall in love with the nurse.

Again, I love to read. I read a little bit of everything, except I don’t do scary Stephen King, but almost everything else. I did search out this books, because of the Down syndrome themes. Down syndrome is a part of our life, but a small part. I don’t see Down syndrome when I look at Clay. I see a sweet, loving, wild, into everything, smart, amazing little boy that loves to swim, and play outside. Down syndrome doesn’t dictate our lives, but I do advocate a lot to let others see how amazing and smart Clay is. I want to change the way people thinks about Down syndrome or any difference. A couple of weeks ago at Chick Fil A playground a man started talking to me about Clay. His brother has a son with Down syndrome and he is in his twenties. This man was so nice and enjoyed talking to Clay and was amazed how well Clay is doing. Again, I am so grateful for all the wonderful people God has placed in my path. I know my day is coming when I meet a jerk and they say something mean. Maybe I will show Mercy and Grace, but I might not!! I have read others parents experiences and it breaks my heart!

Seriously? That face, I love so much!

Differences is a good thing, not a bad thing! If we were all just a like the world would be a boring place!